First things first:

It is perfectly legal and acceptable to have a friend or family member perform your wedding ceremony in Colorado (and most other states for that matter!).

This is a great way to add a personal touch to your ceremony––and cut some of your expenses while you’re at it. Wedding officiants generally cost a few hundred bucks, and your cousin will likely do it for free (if you ask nicely).

While this job is not something to take lightly, anyone who’s generally comfortable with public speaking should be able to handle it.

So, how do you do it?
Let’s start by breaking down what the job entails…

Colorado Wedding and Sapphire Point (Elopement Package)

Colorado Micro-Wedding & Elopement Packages
Starting at $1,300

Pick and choose, only pay for what you need!
—Officiant (starting at $300)
—Photography (starting at $500)
—Videography (starting at $900)
—Flowers (starting at $100)
—Wedding Planner (starting at $500)

Everything you need for a beautiful and stress-free small wedding!
All-Inclusive | 100% Customizable | 0 - 80 Guests
Vendors | Venues | Marriage License | Permits | Dining | Lodging

More info!

Performing vs. solemnizing

Anyone can be the person who stands up from and performs the wedding ceremony, but not everyone can sign the marriage license and “solemnize” the marriage. “Solemnize” is pretty much just a fancy word for “making the marriage legal,” and there are different legal requirements for this role.

Does Your Friend Need to Sign the Marriage License?
No, Colorado DOES NOT require the signature of an officiant to solemnize the marriage. The couple can simply sign the marriage license themselves via a process called “Self-solemnization”.

So, have your friend perform the wedding ceremony, and then “self-solemnize” (fancy word for signing the license yourself) to make it legal. When you go into the County Clerk’s office, let them know you plan to do this, they will walk you through the process! You can do this before, after, or on the day of the wedding.

Want Your Friend to Sign the Marriage License?
Most states require the person solemnizing the marriage to either be a judicial figure, or to have an affiliation with a properly-accredited religious organization. Assuming the person you want to perform your ceremony isn’t a Justice of the Peace or an active Priest, getting “ordained” is their next best option. I know getting “ordained” sounds intimidating, but it’s actually an easy process and can be done through a number of organizations online.

Once your friend meets the legal requirements to solemnize the marriage, the couple simply needs to go into their local Clerk and Recorders Office, apply for a marriage license, and have it with them the day of the wedding. After the ceremony, the couple and their officiant will fill out the license and file it with the state.

HERE’S WHAT YOUR FRIEND NEEDS TO DO:

While it’s not required to have the officiant sign, if your friend is going to sign the Colorado marriage license, they MUST be ordained, and they MUST put “Minister” as their title on the license. If they put “Officiant” the license will be rejected.

Getting ordained online is simple and free, and allows your friend to legally sign the Colorado marriage license as a “Minister” (this is the most popular site to get ordained).

Again, the exact officiant requirements and license license filling process varies by state and county. If you have any questions, the government employee who issues the license is the expert—have them explain exactly what is required of the officiant and couple when it comes to filling it out.

Does Your Officiant Need Help?

I offer “Officiant Coaching” for new officiants that includes my e-guide, sample script, and an over-the-phone coaching session for $50.

Learn more

Script Creation

The “script” is what the officiant will be reading during the wedding ceremony. I’m not going to tell you how to write a script, because there are already tons of resources online to help put together ceremonies of all styles and preferences. Such as this handy Wedding Script Generator.

However, before anyone starts writing the script, the officiant and couple should discuss the following questions:

How long will the ceremony to be?
I suggest 10 minutes for small/informal ceremonies with 30 or less guests, and 20 minutes for regular ceremonies.
Should the ceremony be religious, or secular?
A “secular” ceremony does not involve religious elements, a “religious” ceremony… well obviously, it does.
Is the officiant allowed to make jokes?
Some couples prefer a more serious ceremony, but generally I like to have the opening of the ceremony talk about the couple in a fun way, and generally there are some light laughs that come from this. But it’s best to avoid overly contrived punch-line jokes.
Will the couple be writing their own vows?
Will they be reading their own vows, or repeating after the officiant?
Does the couple have anything specific in mind?
Unity ceremony (so many cool ones out there!)? Mark Twain reading? A special song they want to play during the ceremony?

Once these questions are answered, the officiant can create a script that accounts for all of your preferences.

Tips & Tricks for officiating like a pro

Share this section with your officiant!

Keep The Script Simple
Keep your script simple, no need to reinvent the wheel. A good ceremony is composed of a few primary parts: Intro, Couple’s Story, Love & Marriage, Vows, I Do’s, Ring Exchange, Outro, and Kiss.
Some couples will choose to add in religious elements, unity ceremonies, readings, etc. but generally this is the framework you should work off of. There are tons of resources online, like this Script Generator.
Set the Tone
Always ask the couple for their preference, but generally I suggest starting with the more fun personal stuff early on to lighten the tension. Then slowly build the seriousness as you get into the Vows / I Do’s. No one needs/wants the officiant cracking jokes during the serious parts.

“You May Be Seated”
This is the number one mistake made by first-time officiants! When the bride first appears to walk down the aisle, the officiant will ask everyone to stand. When the bride gets to the front, the officiant should ask everyone to be seated. If the officiant forgets, everyone will stand the entire ceremony (I’ve seen it many times).
Get Out of the Way
After the couple is told to kiss, the officiant must step to the side for the photographer to get the perfect shot - DON’T MESS THIS UP!
PRACTICE!
The script should be read and reread and reread. The officiant should know the exact length of the ceremony and be able to get through it without staring at the paper the entire time. With that being said, I DON’T recommend trying to memorize and do it without a script (I’ve seen this go wrong many times).
This Isn’t About You
No one needs to hear an extended story about who the officiant is, or some long winded inside joke about how you all first met. Keep it simple, talk about the couple - duh.
Don’t Mention the X’s
Don’t under any circumstances mention the X’s, or previous relationships in any form. It’s never funny.
Hands?
The officiant’s hands are easy, they hold the script (and possibly a microphone). The bride and groom’s are a bit more tricky. Once they get up front, I recommend that the bride holds her flowers, and the groom places his hands over each other in front of him—not in pockets! After the introduction, the bride should hand her bouquet to her made of honor, and join hands with the groom. However, some couples prefer to hand off the flowers and join hands right away. Discuss with the couple prior, but remember, it’s up to the officiant to direct this!
Wear Neutral Colors
The officiant may be the center of the show, but they’re not the center of attention. Think subtle colors like grays, whites, and blacks.
Number Your Pages/Notes
At some point before the ceremony, they will likely be dropped. And when they’re dropped, they will be out of order. But if the pages are numbered, no sweat.
The “Giveaway”
Will the bride be walked down the aisle by her dad? If so, the officiant should ask something like: “Who presents this woman to be married to this man?” The father traditionally replies: “Her mother and I.”
Padfolio
These are the little leather notepad holders that you can get at OfficeMax or Staples. If the officiant gets one and prints their script on pages that fit it, their life will be easier (and the ceremony photos will be better).
Microphone?
The officiant should know what the audio setup will be ahead of time so they can prepare. If it’s a small event, no microphone may be needed (which is great). If a microphone is needed, ask the DJ if they have a Lav Mic (that pins to their jacket). Worst case scenario is having to a hold a microphone, which makes turning the pages tricky. If the officiant is going to hold the mic, they should practice at home turning the pages of their script while holding a bottle of water. If the Bride & Groom are going to be reading their own vows, they should have a microphone that they can use so the officiant can step off to the side during this part (makes for better photos).
Processional & Recessional Announcements
In some cases, the officiant walks down before the processional music starts, and makes quick announcements (most commonly, please refrain from taking photos during the ceremony). The wedding coordinator should provide guidance on this. After the recessional, the officiant needs to make an announcement telling the guests where to go next (or they will stand around like lost puppies).